Forever Yours...

I can't sleep - and it's because my Love isn't here. It's unbelievable how much someones presence (or in my case, absence) can affect you. 


Before I met Seth, I was convinced that I would never find true love. I thought romantic love was a myth. When it came to love and marriage, I simply wasn’t a believer.



Before I met Seth, no one had ever broken my heart. It was simply choices I made and the circumstances of my life that led me to believe that I wasn’t put on this Earth to find a man that I cared about, couldn’t live without or could love unconditionally. I decided I’d just focus on being the best mom that I could be and focus on finishing school so that I could get a good career.


But then I met Seth and everything changed. When people talk about love at first sight they are people like me and Seth. It’s a corny concept until it actually happens to you – and even then it still seems a bit unreal, but then you wake up every day and it’s still there, so you pinch yourself to make certain you are conscious and when you realize that you are you go about your fairytale life.


All of this doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges and bumps in the road – every couple has those. If a couple claims they haven’t, they are either lying or not comfortable enough with each other to ever get to the point of fussing at one another, in which case, it’s not love. But you work past your differences and realize that those same things that frustrate you about your partner also make them who they are – and you love who they are.


I guess I’m in a sappy-mode because Love has been gone to training for the past few weeks and I miss him more than I ever thought humanly possible.


It seems cheesy but it’s true. I miss him so much. Some people say your other half is just that – “the half that makes you whole,” while others claim you need to be okay with yourself and by yourself in order to truly love anyone else. I’m with the “half that makes you whole” group; he really is my missing link, and from the moment I found him I knew I’d be okay, no matter what, so long as I had him by my side.


The nickname “Samsonite” suits me well because of all the baggage I had when I met Seth. Mistakes I had made. Time I had wasted. But he took me for who I was (am) – baggage and all. He knows my every flaw, my every weakness, my every past and present struggle and yet he still loves and accepts me. And to me, that’s utterly amazing.


This evening I was cleaning out some files on an old laptop of mine that I had when Seth and I first started out, and I found a letter that I (to this day) have no clue whether or not I gave it to him. You see, I love to write, and I write so much that I don’t dare clutter my man’s inbox with my ramblings so most the time I just write and save it – never doing anything with the letter. But reading this particular letter that I wrote to him a couple of years ago made me miss him even more. The letter was a page and a half long but the last paragraph pretty much summed the whole thing up (excuse the cursing, in our relationship they are words of endearment - if you know us and our sailor-like mouths then you understand *wink*):


“...You’re a god damn ninja Seth; even when I should be sleeping you have me thinking about you and unable to focus on anything but you. I fucking love you Seth. I don’t know how to describe to you how you make me feel. I know, for a fact, that you are my soul mate, you are my perfect match, you were made for me. No one else matters now that I have you…no one else compares. You’re where I'll stop…it gets no better than you and I. Today I stopped and thanked my lucky stars that I have you. I had a rare and quick, silent conversation with God about you. Seth, you have made me realize that people are people. People will fuck up. People will hit rock bottom. People will suck and they will make mistakes and they will experience chaos and cause chaos. You have made me realize that those same people are still people. That someone or something out there is still pulling for them. That not all hope is lost. That people can change and that they can get a second chance. You have made me realize that there is beauty in the broken. You have made me realize that there is perfection in the imperfect. You have made me realize that I am okay the way I am, and I thank God for that…because I finally like who I am. So for all that, I thank you.
Forever Yours,
Lor”