All is Well in the Blog

Keep your faith in all beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone. 

-R.Gilson

***

I should be preparing for the 15 minute briefing that I'll be giving in eight hours. Instead, I listen to music and I write. *sigh* I should be preparing, then I should go to sleep, but at the end of every evening I'm unfocused, sidetracked, thinking, wanting to find a piano and just play. Wanting to see my kidlets. Wanting to take pictures of them. Wanting to visit my family. Wanting to see Seth's family. 

Don't get me wrong - I likes me some 'alone time' but I definitely love the hustle and bustle of a full house. There's nothing better than having good adult conversation coming in from every direction while getting a laugh every now and then by a silly stunt one of the kids pull. I miss chasing my little Owey around the house and spinning the not-even-two year-olds in a circle 'til they giggle hysterically and I struggle not to lose my balance. I miss having faces to wipe and hands to clean. Beds to make and teeth to floss. I guess I'm just rambling now - and being slightly emo, but I'm far from it. I'm actually quite alright. No, I'm more than alright. For the first time in a long time I'm okay with just Lorri. I miss my family, I miss Seth, I miss the kids, but here, right now, 20 April 2011, I can't have them. It's simply not an option, and I have to be okay with that - I have to be more than okay with that. Today I woke up ready to have a fucking amazing day! I wasn't gonna think about 'poor Lorri' and how I wanna go home and see my kids and kiss my husband and sleep in my bed and go to work in my office. Nope. I was gonna do the best I could with what I have in front of me. Why bother stressing out about things you can't have or can't control?

When I was a teenager my parents had different quotes on the walls of the offices in their music store. One read, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." That was my attitude today. And damn, it was a great day.

Peace and Love,

Lor