What Women Want

It seems that everyone's shit is going down the toilet lately. Which I guess is what you typically want, but when it comes to relationships it ain't. Can we agree on that? Thanks. Anyway, my girl and I were talking about what men do wrong. Now before you come at me with pitchforks and torches let me say that I realize we women do things wrong too. Rarely, but we do. Back to the fellas though…

Hey guys, bros, dudes, fellas, pimps, whatever the hell you wanna be called…here goes:

• After a certain age, playing games is no longer cute. In fact, it's downright confusing and frustrating and after a while, no matter how much we care about you we will back off because games are mentally draining - like a vampire sucking the brains out of our head. I know they typically like necks and blood but just work with my analogy - aight?!

• When she's upset or sad, just hold her. She will feel that all is right in the world with your arms around her. I promise.

• Don't take her for granted.

• If you love her, tell her. If you want to talk to her, phone her. If you think she looks beautiful, let her know.

• If you're unsure of how to even approach her, grab your cajones and man-up for pete's sake. She'll dig it if she digs you. And if she doesn't dig you then eff it - right?!

• Fuck sleep. You can sleep when you're dead.

• It's not gonna be perfect. But you're gonna feel this connection that you just can't explain in words...like, when someone asks you about her you're not gonna have words straight away, but you'll definitely have a smile on your face instantly, and it'll linger, that smile. 

• Who cares what others think of your relationship. If she makes you happy - go for it. Life is too short to not be with the person that makes you feel alive.

• Waiting for the perfect time? It's now:

I could keep going but I think ya'll get my point. Or at least I hope you do. And if not, then there is no hope for you and you'll never be truly satisfied in your love life. Ha. Just kidding. Buuuuut seriously.

Happy New Year's Eve, ya'll!