Go. Say. Do.

Usually my posts are for my parents or my close friends - to tell them what where up to, where we are, where we've been, or where we're going. But tonight it's for my brood - my three tiny humans that I made from scratch. My loves. My one true constants in life. So click that little red button at the top of your screen if you're not down for some mommy sappiness, because it's oozing out of my pores right now, as if I were drunk on my kidlets.

August 2012 - The day before Ethan's 9th move, Ari's 7th move, and Owen's 6th move with me 

My sweet, sweet babies,

Sometimes I feel like I fail you, like I haven't given you all that you deserve. I know that I have done the best I can. I know that. But I still can't help but to think you deserve so much more and that I have let you down since I haven't given it to you just yet. 

I want to give you a home, a home that we live in forever. A home that you come home to during your college breaks with your bags of dirty laundry and your wallets close to empty. 

I want to give you a father figure that puts us first, you first, that no matter what he will treat you like the delicate beings you are while still teaching you tough lessons that only a father can teach. And that he won't hurt your hearts for the sake of hurting me. 

I want to love myself so that I can show you that no matter what, you must always love yourself, and that you are more beautiful than a physical body. That you simply being you is beautiful enough. 

I want you all to know that when you find someone that you care about, open up to them, let them in 100%, tell them you love them, and know that you deserve to be loved back, know that you deserve to be their number one and if they can't give that to you tell them good-bye, despite how difficult that may be.

So I'm working on getting you a home. A forever home. A home where we can paint the walls, unpack, and call it ours - never to move again.

And both your daddy's do their best, I truly believe that. I've realized that we all try our best. Even if our best is being apart from you for six months, and missing first days of schools, lost teeth, and birthdays.

And I'm slowly learning to love my physical self, and remind myself that every imperfection I have has a story behind it. A story I don't regret. Because if one single thing in the past were different then I wouldn't be who I am today. And I'm starting to truly love me.

And I don't know if it's because I'm getting a bit older but I'm beginning to realize that it's okay to let people in, like if you truly feel a connection with them don't hold back, it could be your best friend or even the love of your life you just walked by because you were too afraid to say hello.

So go. Say. Do. And just know that I'll be there anytime you need me, and that I'm working on giving you all you deserve. Because you are each unbelievably amazing people. And you're going to go on to do unbelievably amazing things in this life. 

Love, 

Mommy