The Fordhouse Courthouse

So my gas light came on the other day. Said 50 miles or something til empty. Blew it off. You can do a lot in 50 miles right?! I have time, I told myself. Go about my day. Come home for the evening. Next day is here and I have a doctor's appointment at 1. The baby slept until 10am so that was fabulous. So we had a lazy morning, one which included a bath for her. Fast forward to what should be the end of said bath and she refuses to get out of the tub despite us needing to leave the house by 12:30. 12:37 comes and she's finally dressed albeit with not thoroughly brushed hair and no socks with her tennis shoes because I don't have time to argue with a two year old about socks. Drop her off with a friend so I could make my anatomy scan at 1. My obstetrician had changed locations since my last visit. I know this bc I got a voicemail the other day telling me the location of their new office. I can't find the street on any map app I have nor on the GPS in my car. But the voicemail says "behind the Courthouse" amongst other details as to where exactly they are. Perfect. I know where the courthouse is. 

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Despite running late I make it to the courthouse by 1:01. No biggie. One minute isn't going to hurt anyone. But wait, I can't find the OB's office. And I'm behind the courthouse. Call the office. No answer. Drive around. Don't see the street name I'm given. Keep driving in that general vacinity whilst continuing to ring the OB's office. Finally someone answers. 1:07. I tell her I'm lost and I'm behind the courthouse. Courthouse? 

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She's confused. Yeah, in the message it says y'all are located behind the courthouse. No, she tells me. They are behind the FORD HOUSE! WTF is a ford house, you ask? I pondered the same - answer? The local ford dealership. Who calls it a ford house? Whatever. I ask if it's by the courthouse. No, she says. Fantastic. It's 1:10. I get the proper address to the godforsaken ford house and haul ass. Within legal speed limits of course because I'm no monster. A few miles down the road I'm feeling hopeful, my car tells me I'm two minutes from my destination. It then also immediately tells me I'm zero miles until empty. Zero. 

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Has your car even said zero miles? Heart. Attack. And it only chimed this cute little single chime before my dashboard lit up with the words zero miles to empty. My mind did what the car should've done. FUCKING SIRENS. 

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Yeah. Sirens went off in my mind and my body temp immediately roses 26 degrees and I'm frantically searching for a gas station. I see one. It's on the next exit. I get off the highway and it's a fucking smoke and save or some shit where they turned an old gas station into a "grab your smokes and liquor" joint (do ppl still say joint?). So I saw gas pumps but that shit hasn't works since god knows when. 

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I let out some profanities and keep driving. 

Finally coming across a proper gas station. The light right before the station is green but I envision it turning red and me running out of gas and standing on the side of the road pregnant, hot, and crying because I want my husband whom is probably flying (therefore unreachable) with my luck. The light stays green, proof that Jesus loves us, and I pull into the gas station. I pump 20 seconds worth of gas which I've learned buys you 54 more miles according to my car when I got back in. Drove my two more miles to the OB office. Pull in the lot and see the dealership next door. I mumble something like "fucking ford house"... 

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...because its totally the Ford House's fault that I can't get my kid out of the tub in a timely manner and have gas in the car. 

I hobble-run inside and tell the ladies at the desk a very condesed version of the last 20 minutes. Which went something like this. "I thought y'all said the courthouse". Laughter amongst us all. 

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Then they tell me how "an older woman" made the same mistake. Great. Now I have the hearing of "an older woman". It's 1:19. I'm still seen. Anatomy scan done. Baby boy healthy. Drove home less heart-attacky. Hate the fordhouse. Fin. 

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Baby, Baby

Drinking tea and watching the pup stare at the rain falling on the windows while the babe naps. And as I sit here going through photos to fill some empty frames in her room I can't help but get all sappy while reminiscing on my pregnancy with her. And then I think about having another one and I feel like a first-time mom all over again in that I find myself putting it off because I'm terrified I can't love another the way I love her and the big kids. I know it's silly, and I know the love will be there but I still find myself having that thought. Which is weird because I had that same worry when pregnant with my second but each pregnancy after that it never once was a worry of mine. And now, here the hubby and I are talking about when would be a good time to add one last baby to complete our family and I have all these first-time mom feelings despite being a seasoned parent. I guess I just can't imagine dividing my attention even further, just not at the age Av is currently at. 

Having such a big age gap between her and the big kids has proven more beneficial than not. And one of the huge benefits is me having learned from the past. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing because I'm a firm believer that every single thing/choice/experience brings you to where you currently are, and I'm currently in the best place I've ever been in life. But what I mean to say is through the big kids I've learned just how fleeting the years really are.  And everyone will tell you this; your parents, your co-workers, the older gentleman in the grocery check-out line and we all eventually learn it's so incredibly true. 

So I strive to appreciate and soak in as much of these kids as I can before they're packing their bags and heading off to university, which for E is in less than two years. And with Avery I just can't imagine having a newborn while she's still so young herself. 

This morning Avery slept until 8, I went to get her from her room after hearing her quietly say "Mom? Mom?" through the monitor. The house was quiet other than the light tapping of the rain on the windows because the morning hustle of backpacks, lunch boxes, breakfast, coffee, and school bus had came and went while she was still fast asleep up in her room. When she woke, I scooped her up and brought her into our bed and she nursed like she always does first thing when she wakes. She laid there between me and her daddy and she played with his hair and paused from nursing every minute or so to softly kiss Seth on his forehead. It's moments like that I don't want to miss due to running on four hours of sleep and in the other room soothing a newborn. Later in the morning, when we pulled ourselves out of bed she hurt her foot doing one of her typical daredevil moves and she immediately ran to me to be consoled (which for her is to nurse). So I dropped what I was doing and nursed her until she slid off my lap to go back to being mischievous. I couldn't imagine telling her to wait while i tended to a baby. 

I mean, I know it's silly. Whether a baby comes this year or five years from now I'll still have to deal with similar situations. But I just don't feel that desire right now. And you know what? That's okay.

All this to say, right when you think you have things figured out, life shows you that you have no idea! If you would've asked me a year ago I would've told you I wanted Av and our future babe to be as close in age as possible. And now I'm like, "we don't need to worry about a risk of twins until I'm over 35, right?!" 

Happy Thursday, friends. Go kiss your kiddos. Xx