Cockroaches and Coffee

Dear Mischievous Children of Twilight House,

I realise we have scare-the-shit-out-of-each-other battles on the regular. But you all have crossed the line. Your mother takes her coffee very seriously. Let us just make this simple and say Coffee is to your Mum as a Pipe is to a Crackhead. I made the mistake of assuming you three knew this. But then this morning I took the creamer out of the fridge and set it on the counter. All was fine at this point because my situational awareness is complete rubbish.

I came back to the counter and open the creamer to see this...

I fell for this a few days ago - when you put the cockroach on the black countertop while I cooked dinner. I almost shit my pants that night. I don't learn.

So today, I jumped back and my foot got caught on the rug. I spun around in an attempt to balance myself. Bottom line: I almost died. Plus side? At least my death would have occurred on my beautiful terra cotta floors. Not-So-Plus Side? A conviction of manslaughter was almost on your juvenile records. And I'd be dead. Oh the shame.

Now that I got the theatrics out of my system, lemme tell you little tricksters a thing or two; you can't hide. Mummy will get you back. So sleep sound my little loves.  Mwahahahaha!!!!!

The Jason Mask is Coming Out of Retirement,

Mum