You Will Never Be This Loved Again

Today was one of those days were I just wanted to be alone. It started out rough. Every morning in this house is like dinner time in this house - it's busy, and loud, and there are a million things going on at once. It's what we do. And 99.99% of the time its great. I love our loud, rambunctious house. I need our loud, rambunctious house. But yesterday was trying. For the sake of my family's privacy (says the gal that constantly blogs about her family, ironic - right?) I won't go in to details of each instance (or who) that pushed my buttons. Instead, I'll simply say that it wasn't anything significant, or out of the ordinary, or serious. It was normal, every day life that I typically deal with just fine, but yesterday it simply got to me more, essentially my strength felt nonexistent. I wanted to bark out orders, I wanted tell everyone to sit down and hush, I wanted to show how frustrated I was. But constantly reminded myself that those things weren't going to fix anything, in fact, they'd probably make it worse. A few weeks ago I found the following quote, I'm not certain who said it, all it was signed was "AK". It reads:

You will never be this loved again. So on those days you feel stressed out and depleted, just remember that you will never be this loved again. One day you will long for their affection. So choose a soft voice, choose gentle hands, choose love. -AK

It really spoke to me when I initially saw it so I grabbed a piece of paper and jotted it down quickly and tacked it to my dry erase board that is near my computer in our office.

 I see it each time I'm sitting at the computer. And yesterday, when I was having a rough day I told everyone to get their shoes on and while they were doing that I went and sat in my desk chair and I immediately saw the above note I scribbled down a few weeks ago. It almost brought me to tears when I read it because it is so. very. true. So I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I will never get this day back. They will be graduated and gone all too soon and I'll be begging them to come home and visit me from college. I reminded myself that I am one of the few people in the world that is supposed to protect them, and nurture them, and love them, and be patient with them. I reminded myself that I am the adult and I don't get to have a fit in front of them. I reminded myself that I am suppose to make sure they feel safe and loved by me at all times. So I walked out of the office and our morning continued. And my stress had disapated. Nerf gun darts flew by my head. The pup whimpered and moaned. Lunch was forgotten on the counter. And right before we parted ways for the day we teased. We laughed. We hugged. We kissed. We chose love.