Babies and Wine

There seems to be a baby boom going on around me. And had this happened a few years ago I would've been a wreck because I had baby fever and a piece of my soul blackened each time I saw a pregnant lady, especially an ungrateful pregnant lady…oh I'm sooooo miserable blah blah blah. But the hubby and I lived apart due to our careers so we didn't exactly have the best situation for bringing a fourth child in to the world. Once we relocated to Europe and actually began living together for more than a week at a time I had quite the opposite reaction when people announced their pregnancies - I could've cared less at that point. I was glad we had older kids that could enjoy traveling with us. Plus our ridiculous work hours weren't conducive to a wee one either. But now, now we are close to beginning a new chapter of our lives and because of all the changes that will be happening soon it is prime time to get this lady knocked up!

Perhaps it's my newfound baby fever or perhaps I'm just paying attention more but I've noticed, with these ladies that are newly pregnant, several of them weren't even trying. I thought that kind of thing only happened when you were in high school. I thought adults truly thought out the whole let's bring another PERSON into the world thing. When one announced she was pregnant and someone asked her if they were trying she responded by saying something like No, were weren't trying. Then all the ladies oohed and aahed over her confession as if she had just bitch-slapped Jesus' mother. At which point someone asked well what birth control were you on? and she replied…I kid you not…oh I wasn't on birth control. 

Now. I've never been good at math so I'm certain my calculations are all kinds of fucked up, but doesn't sex - birth control = the potential of a human growing inside your uterus? I mean, if I were trying to not have a baby I'd slap a patch on my ass or take a pill each morning. And once I decided to no longer do those things I wouldn't exactly proclaim to be oh so surpriiiiiised when the pregnancy tested popped up with two lines.

Fuck me sideways.

In other news, I feel like one lucky mom to have given birth to three awesome kidlets that gave me an additional Mother's Day. The date on that award is accurate - Mother's Day happened on 1 February and this is a certificate I received from my brood.

Ariana is an impressive cook, she made brunch for us all. 

They also gave me a report card and it basically told me I don't drink enough wine.

I'm not certain if the lack of a grade in the Bein Cool column is a pro or a con. I left it alone but it does say I need more wine right next to it so perhaps they think I need to step my cool game up. Kids do still say that nowadays, right? And to further solidify my concern is the grade I received for Catchin the bus it was a B-. It wasn't even a solid B. I was given a B-, I border on being average at this one apparently. 

But it's true. 3 out of 5 days a week we are crossing our fingers that the bus is still at the stop waiting for them or has yet to arrive. I've chased the driver down several times. He's a kind man and he now knows my car, every time he sees me he simply pulls over and waits for my brood. I need to bake him cookies at the end of the year. 

Okay, okay, I've used enough brain power, I'm off to pour a glass of wine.