Random Ramblings

I made fresh squeezed orange juice this morning.  It took 6 oranges and produced about 8oz of juice, so that was a superb use of time. 

Good thing I didn't take on that task on a weekend when everyone was home. Could you imagine how long it would take for me to make enough for my whole crew? So. much. nope.

Not so smooth segue, but why do non-microwaveable coffee mugs exist? These shouldn't be a thing. I received a new mug as a gift and it's neither microwave nor dishwasher safe. One word: Trash. That's what it is. My 14 year old quickly saved it from the donate pile. I told her she had to hand wash it and not microwave it. She looked at me like, why would I need to microwave it? Oh yeah, that's right, you don't have kids, you can drink your hot drink while it's still hot and your iced drink before it becomes diluted with ice cubes and starts tasting like responsibility and sadness. My bad.

Cactus. Cactuses. Cacti? Idk. The little prickly fucks that cause one to itch and itch and itch and it feels like there's tiny bits of glass in your skin. Those. I'd rather give birth everyday for a week au natural then get cactus needles on me. I'm beyond serious. Fun story: when I was getting my undergrad (in the southwest) I sat on a ledge lined with plants to eat my lunch. Unbeknownst to my midwestern ass, those plants were cactuses. Within minutes my back started itching, an itch I couldn't satisfy. I went to the bathroom and stripped my shirt off and scratched and scratched and scratched until a sweet girl was like, bro you leaned against a cactus and have loads of needles all back here. ''Twas fun.

Fast forward to Wednesday and I'm outside with the baby. I'm working on a project while she plays with her toys when suddenly I hear her say "oooooow. Ow! Ow! Mommy?! Ow!!!!" I go to her and she's holding a piece of a cactus.

via GIPHY

So many questions. But first I snatched it from her hands and immediately brought her inside to remove the needles with tweezers. Realising there was no way on God's green Earth that I was going to get all of those super fine ones with tweezers I began googling remedies. We ended up with the Elmer's glue method. Thank God the 2 million dollars worth of craft supplies survived The Big Purge where I got rid of like half of our Earthly possessions (my house looks amazing now by the way). I apply the glue but had no gauze to wrap her hands with. So we did a little dance to shake her hands dry so that she didn't rub it off before it worked its magic. Conclusion: it worked. And she was a freakin' solider throughout the whole ordeal.

But let us rewind: why do I have a piece of cactus in my garage? Where did that come from? I'd never buy one, in part because of my college incident. Further, we live in North Carolina. Now I don't know much about this place, we've only lived here a few months but up until this incident I would've bet money that cactuses don't grow here. 

Anyway, I've gotta get in the shower before the baby wakes because that's kind of important. I hope your weekend is filled with tacos, coffee, and children that sleep in past 7am. xx