Cupcakes and Puppy Dogs

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a dog person. Now calm down and don't send me hate mail, it's okay if I don't think a dog is the equivalent of a child, just like it's okay for ya'll to put Mr Pinky in a sweater and call him your "baby." 

I say all of this because the topic at hand is Bear, our German Shepherd. 

He's loyal and good-looking and I feel safe with him in the house when Seth's out of town. But my goodness he's a handful. He listens when and if he wants. He has torn up every kitchen rug I've ever purchased. He ate a pair of my brand-new $120 running shoes. He walks me, rather than letting me walk him. He jumps on people when he's excited. And the list goes on. To put it simply, he's the German Shepherd version of Marley from Marley and Me. Seriously people, he's caused fights between Seth and I. It's said that financial conflicts is the number one reason for marital distress - for us, it's the damn dog, not money. 

I will admit that Bear has been oddly obedient lately. He listens when I yell, "out" for playing too rough with Jersey (our cat). He hasn't chewed up my new rug in the kitchen and he hasn't pounced on any visitors. But today…today he was his old self again. Would you like to know why I say that?

Because I left a chocolate cupcake on the ottoman in the living room as I went to get a drink from the kitchen and when I came back he was polishing off my evening snack. He looked at me, licked his lips, then lowered his head in shame as if he knew he messed up. 

I immediately panicked (yes, even though I could live without him I still care about his health). The first thing that popped in my head was the story a co-worker just recently told me about her dog almost dying from eating a large amount of chocolate. So I jumped online and found out that he'd be just fine. But it made me want to share what I found - it's a cool little chart that shows the amount of chocolate that can cause negative effects on a dog based on the dog's weight. 

In order for my monster puppy to feel any side effects he'd have to eat almost a pound of chocolate. And for it to be potential deadly he'd have to consume four pounds. If I ever have four pounds of chocolate in my home we have a serious problem and need to reevaluate our grocery shopping skills. Therefore, I don't think that'll ever be an issue.

And would you like to know how I confirmed that I am not a dog person? I may or may not have had a fleeting thought about how much a vet bill would be if I needed to take him in and immediately wanted to curse him.

Just being honest.

We've Gone Crazy

So remember how yesterday I told ya'll how I'm all nuts-o with Seth gone? Doing weird random stuff without even realizing it until I'm caught with my pants down off. Well, apparently I'm not the only one that's bonkers in the Rumbarger house because when I was sitting on the couch last night watching Parenthood Bear went to the balcony door - he does that when he needs or wants to go outside. Well I ignored him because he had just been outside so I knew he just wanted to go out to play but I had Parenthood to watch more important things to do. Being Mr Insistent, he went to the sliding door, then did a 180 to face me but his face got covered by the sheer curtain when he turned around. Rather than just moving his head or walking a step forward to get the curtain off his face he just stood there, looking at me, with the curtain covering his eyes. I only had my computer nearby so I tried to open it super sneaky style so that he didn't move from his position. By the time I got the camera up he only stayed like that for about 10 more seconds but it was so funny because he just stood there for at least 30 seconds beforehand, frozen, staring toward me, with the curtain covering his face. The video is hard to see because all I had on was a lamp but check 'im out...it was funny, you had to be there, but since you weren't I've got the next best thing:

At least I'm not the only in this house losing my mind. 

Lor

My Cat, the Hero

Jersey is my precious kitten that Seth adopted for me when we first moved to Pensacola a year and a half ago. He’s super cute and slightly sassy.

Bear is my monster puppy whom we purchased from a breeder 2 ½ years ago. He’s undeniably gorgeous and slightly clumsy.

Salt and Pepper are our two goldfish that the kids won at their school carnival when we first moved to Pensacola – A YEAR AND A HALF AGO! They are obviously part ninja considering how long they’ve lived.

I tease Seth about Bear being completely ‘special’ with his goofy, brain-cell-lacking ways. I gawk at the fish and their unusual and borderline disturbing ability to live so long (in an unfiltered bowl at that). But I rarely talk trash about my lovely kitten - although he has been known to sleep in a non-gentlemanly position and keep himself entertained with his own tail for hours. Seriously, he will jump around as if a snake is after him and all he is really doing is playing with his tail.

But last night I knew.  I knew that Jersey was just as ‘special’ as our other pets when my sweet little kitten sat, frozen like a statue, eyes glued to my wine glass for a solid five minutes. I called his name, nothing. I snapped my fingers in front of his face, nothing. I did everything I could think of to get his attention but he never winced, he just stared down the glass.

And is the tail thing really that unusual? I mean, if I had a tail I’m pretty sure I’d be fascinated by it too. Jus' sayin'

Xo,

Lor

Oh So Thankful

Is it just me or are you scratching your head, asking yourself where the year went? It's December; wowza!

Soooo, raise your hand if you I failed to decorate for Halloween! So did this girl! *raises hand*

I bought a pumpkin with the intent to carve it and yet it sat in the trunk of my car for about a month - fear not, it didn't rot. And our Halloween decor stayed tucked away in the plastic bin labeled 'Halloween.' All this went down (or, didn't go down) because of the munchkins' absence. It was the first holiday that we didn't decorate in someway, and I'll admit that it kinda sucked not having the house decorated.

So after the whole Halloween debacle, I figured we can't not decorate/celebrate a holiday just because our brood isn't physically present, but then again we don't have to go all out as if they are here either. I figured Love and I could find a happy medium, and maybe make some new traditions.

So we I came up with a Thankful Jar:

The idea was: beginning 1 November and continuing everyday up until Thanksgiving we would each write down something we are thankful for (and we weren't allowed to look at each others until Thanksgiving). Then, on Thanksgiving we could read all the silly, sappy, awesome things we are thankful for.

I suppose it's similar to the time capsule tradition we do with our munchkins every year, except with the 'thankful jar' we only have to go for a month of anticipation rather than a whole 12 months.

Well, we ended up doing it for the entire month of November because we were out of town visiting family during the Thanksgiving weekend. So the other night we finally got to read all the things we are thankful for.

Let's begin with mine, shall we?

Both Seth and I seemed to have a nice little balance of silly, serious and simple things we gave thanks for. A few of mine included:

- That we're alike enough to have a common ground but different enough to keep things     spiiiiicy

- That I met you 

- For the simple things: lights, food, a home

- That you got F-15s

- That Crossroads wasn't our one and only Thanksgiving "celebration." Seriously, God, I'm thanking You directly for that blessing!

- That we get to have Krissy and Drake visit every summer

- That Bear has a VERY SCURRY bark

- That I've never burnt down the house in my attempts to 'cook'

- For our triad-O-children: E, A & O!

- That my parents are able to spend Christmas with us

And some of Seth's were:

- My truck

- My wife's new hair

- Going to see my grandparents for Thanksgiving

- Battlefield 3

- The kids

- F15e

- The steady income we have

- Burnt cookies

- My truck

- Being married

- My gorgeous body

- My truck

Ummmm, am I the only that sees a problem? His truck? I'll admit; it's a sexy ass truck, but holy shit, really? I was mentioned one time directly and maybe three times indirectly, but his truck was mentioned too many times to count! I was the one reading the thankful cards aloud and when I read, "My truck" for the second time, I screamed, "What!?" And he laughed while trying to convince me that he didn't remember writing it down more than once. He even thought I was making it up at one point and asked to see the card for himself, when I showed him that "My truck" was written in his handwriting he just continued to laugh and say, "I must've forgot I wrote it down already." I gave him the stank-eye and told him he better pray he wrote down "My perfectly amazing, totally gorgeous wife" as many times as he wrote about that damn truck. 

And do you like how we both referred to my terrible cooking? A few weekends ago I was baking cookies and burnt 'em. That day I wrote down, "That I haven't burnt down the house in my attempts to cook" and he said that was the same day he wrote down, "Burnt cookies."

Great minds...

And do you like how he gave thanks for his "gorgeous body"? And to Battlefield 3. Some evenings I'll say, "I'm gonna read my book." And he counters with, "I'm gonna go defend our freedom." Which means he's going to play Battlefield 3 with his buddies. Oy. 

And while we were gone over the Thanksgiving holiday my friend Sara was housesitting for us (a.k.a. watching our monster puppy). And she slipped a note in the jar unbeknownst to me:

Isn't that the sweetest? And I mentioned Sara in one of mine too. It was the day we were leaving town, I wrote, "That Sara is willing to watch our Lil Hellian. aka: Bear" 

And when reading all of our thankful notes, Seth made mention to me that I had Bear in quite a few of mine. But trust me, they were not all positive. One was pure sarcasm: "That Bear listens so very well." Which made me realize that I didn't mention Jersey at all! Seth loved that. We have this ongoing feud of who has the best pet; him with Bear... or me with Jersey. He said that since I didn't mention Jersey it meant I unconsciously care about Bear more. My reasoning was that Bear is such a problem child that he is simply on my mind more than Jersey who doesn't give me any trouble. 

Seth didn't buy it. And apparently neither did Jersey because he was ignoring me for the rest of that afternoon. He typically lays right beside me on the couch, but that day he laid on the faaaar end of the couch, seriously, he couldn't have picked a spot farther away from me.

And look at the look on his face. I guess I should understand his annoyance with me though, I mean, he's giving me the same stank-eye I gave Seth over that damn truck.

Hope your Thanksgiving was as entertaining as ours,

Lor

Bear Cub? Bear Tub? Same Thing

I solved a mystery the other day; call me Detective Awesome. The mystery had to do with our dog, our bathtub and the drain.


Our dog is a basket case. And yes, I'm referring to the same dog I mentioned here. He's still ours, but we'll discuss that another day; I don't have any enough alcohol in my house to make it through that discussion at this moment.

So back to my lunatic of a pup - he gets into the most random stuff and he has the most awkward habits. 

Awkward habit number one: When he lays in our room he lays with his head under the bed. 

What's that? You want photographic evidence? You got it…

He's not doing anything. Not looking for anything. Not attempting to get all the way under. He's simply chillin'….

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Awkward habit number two: He stalks the cat

If the cat is on the opposite side of a door from him. He sits or lays at the door until we open it. If he and the cat are in the same room together he is always within a foot of two of my poor feline. Oh, and forgive the terrible quality of all these pictures, they are all caught in the moment which means I typically have to use the camera on my phone!

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Awkward habit number three: He's part ninja and acts on his ninjastic instincts. 

I know this to be true because he seems to sense that Owen is the baby of the family and therefore more likely to spill his food because anytime Owen has food, Bear is right by his side.

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Awkward habit number four: He sleeps like a gentleman.

Need I elaborate?

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Awkward habit number five: He thinks Owen is a puppy dog. 

Since Owen is about the same height as Bear, he seems to think that Owen is a puppy dog. Bear plays with Owen the way he plays with other dogs, he follows him around, perhaps to protect him since he is the baby of the family, but usually it's to play.

Often, if we can't find one, we just look for the other and we're bound to see the other one not far behind. Owen digs the extra attention he gets from Bear cub (or 'Bear tub' as Owen pronounces it), in the rare occasion that Bear doesn't tag along with Owen from room to room you can hear Owen whistle and say, "Come on Bear Tub, let's go."  

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Awkward habit number six: He's never far from me when I take a shower. 

He follows me here and there every now and then, but not the way he follows Owen. BUT! For some reason, anytime I take a shower, he is always in the bathroom with me. I shower with the bathroom door open, just a habit from having kids and needing to be able to hear them at all times, well, apparently Bear thinks I do it for him because he will come into the bathroom while I'm in the shower, nudge the door not-quite-completely-closed and plop down right outside of the shower. So this is what I see ever day when I step out of the shower:

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Awkward habit number six: He gets on the furniture when we aren't home.

Okay, so this is more annoying than it is awkward. He knows he isn't allowed on the furniture. never has been, not even as a little bitty puppy. This is because we knew he was going to be a moose when he got older and we didn't want to have to break him of the habit. Also, I'm not a fan of dog hair on places I sit or lay my head, so the no-dogs-on-furniture rule was a given. 

A little less than 2 years ago, I was leaving for class (I was still in college), I wasn't even out of our neighborhood when I realized I forgot something, so I turned around and went back to the house to get it. I walk in and find this:

Shenanigans.

Needless to say, I wore out his hind-end. I also set up little traps, such as folding and placing the blanket or setting the pillows a certain way in order to see if they were in the same place when I got home. Apparently the ass whoopin' helped because from that day on everything remained undisturbed…for a good two years or so. Then one day, just a few months ago, I noticed his hair on the duvet on our bed and that's when I knew he must've jumped on our bed when we weren't home. I was fed up, so now I put up a baby gate to confine him to certain areas of the house when we aren't home (such as the kitchen or the bathroom). My area of choice lately has been the master bath. 

The last couple of days, when getting home from work, I began to notice things in the bathroom that didn't make sense to me (such as the drain in the tub being plugged and a few pieces of dog hair on the shower curtain) but I just blew them off because I was mentally drained and didn't want to use what little brain power I did have to put these things together to figure out what was going on.

First, you must know that I always shut the shower curtain when I get out of the shower. Seth leaves it open, which I.don't.like. To me, it's like an open cabinet door, I can't stand it and it looks undone. Seth typically leaves before me in the mornings, therefore, I'm the last to use the shower and so the curtain gets closed.

Seth's official last day of class was this past Wednesday, this meant he got to sleep in on Thursday and so he was the last to leave the house. This meant he was the last one to use the shower that day. When I got home from work that day, one of my first stops was to the bathroom because we were meeting people for dinner so I wanted to take a quick shower beforehand. When I walked in the bathroom, Seth had left the shower curtain open, that's when I noticed dog hair in the shower and some brown paw prints. 

I was confused. So naturally, I began a conversation with Bear. Seriously, I do this all the time. I talk to him like he's a person. When I saw the paw prints and hair I just walked away from the shower and over to the sink to take my hair down as I talked to Bear saying something along the lines of, "Bubba, how did your hair get in the tub? You must've gotten in there because I see your paw prints too." I'm looking at myself in the mirror because I was brushing my hair but I was talking loud enough for him to hear me. As I'm talking I'm trying to think of the other things I had noticed over the past few days, trying to tie them all together and make sense of the drain being plugged and how that could relate to him being in the tub and why on Earth he would even get in the tub to begin with. So as I'm thinking out loud, and brushing my hair, and talking, Bear walks into the bathroom with me. Out of the corner of my eye I see him head towards the tub, the shower curtain is still open, and what does he do as if it's a regular occurrence for him? He steps right into the bathtub, does a 180 so that he's facing me, and sits down.

Who does that? 

I snapped the picture above to send to Seth, and as I'm taking the picture I noticed Bear's tail wagging, while his tail wagged he knocked the drain closed. 

Mystery of the plugged drain solved.

Have a great weekend ya'll,

Lor

Closets and Phone Calls

As you may know we have recently moved, yet I've spent relatively little time at our new place. The first few weeks I spent in and out of town on weekends, so I was only there during the week. I also kept going to our place in Pensacola to see the hubby because I hate being without him. So our new place in Destin seemed to become more like a place I'd go to after work during the week to shower and sleep. Nothing more. But the past couple of weekends all that has changed; the hubby and I have foregone the nightlife/traveling/you name it and stayed in our new digs. Spending all this time here lately has made me realize that I still have lots to do around this joint to make it feel like home. I mean, we are unpacked (with the exception of a single box lingering in what should be our dining room - and I say 'should' because it's virtually empty - but that's a post for another day) yet I still have some loose ends I need to tie up to really make the place feel like ours and like it's lived in. 

So tonight, I poured a glass of wine, put on Pandora Radio, took a deep breath and stepped into the hellhole more commonly referred to as 'our closet.'

Think I'm exaggerating? Think again...(and that's only one side)

Seriously, it makes my heart race every time I go in there, and I'm not talking a hell yeah Justin Timeberlake wants me to have his baby pitter-pat, ooo-la-la, it looks so lovely kind of heart race. I'm talking holy-shit-this-looks-like-an-episode-of-hoarders kind of heart race. Essentially, our closet became the place I put stuff that I hadn't hung up yet, or organized yet, and pretty soon, it looked like a tornado swept through that mo'fo'.

Here's Bearcub at the bedroom door, he heard Jersey meowing and wanted to go attack play with him.

And here he is showing me his 'money-maker'

Anyway, while in hell the closet I came across loads of kid stuff - pictures they drew us, crafts they made at school, and I came across a card Ari randomly made me last year.


I remember when she made it for me because I was on the phone. I don't remember whom I was speaking to but I remember her interrupting my phone call several times. I shhhhh'd her each time and eventually she stayed gone (little did I know she was occupied with creating this card for me). When I got off the phone she handed me the goods. 

The front reads "Phone bloder" (phone blabber) with a tagline reading "no a phance mom" (no offense, mom).

The inside is self explanatory.

Super cute - right?! Of course finding this card sidetracked me and caused me to start digging for things I could put in my plethora of frames that still need hung up. I thought it was frame worthy so it'll get added to my wall-O-frames eventually. In the meantime, I displayed it on a ledge in the living room so that I get a good chuckle every time I walk past. 

Aren't kids the greatest? I love their innocence and their honesty. And she's right, I'm totally a 'phone blabber." At the end of the night I made an even bigger mess in the closet looking through entertaining cards and pictures from the kids, but it was totally worth it. Perhaps I'll get the closet finished over the weekend - a girl can dream...

Xo,

Phone Blabber